"We become artists when we see with our hearts instead of our eyes"Tonight while driving home, I saw a beautiful rainbow. (I tried to get a pic of it with my cell phone, but it did not turn out that well through the raindrops and windshield wipers, so please settle for the above pic I took at Fallasburg Park in Lowell on Saturday) I needed to see that rainbow, especially today. My heart has been heavy since Sunday when I found out a dear friend of mine lost her 33 year old husband, very unexpectedly Saturday. Thirty-three. I can't imagine what she is going through right now, tears are brought to my eyes just speculating the range of emotions and the details that she is dealing with. I have had a few moments in my life - wake up calls - that make me just stop and really, analyze my life and priorities. My family, faith, friends, and most importantly, who I am - who God intended me to be. I struggled with this part for a very long time. I tried to be someone - and some size/image - I forced myself to become. It was not the real me. Sometimes, it is so hard. So easy to get caught up and take simple things for granted or to morph into something that you are not...and then, in moments like this, you realize how just darn lucky and blessed you actually are and what really matters in life.
Lately, when I begin each day (usually in the shower or getting ready) I kind of meditate on what is one my heart, and I make it a goal of mine to reach out and do something unexpected that may bring a smile that someone's face. I mark it in my planner and just kind of pray for the right opportunity to present itself - how to make a small impact and bring a smile or just show that they are loved and thought of... A friend battling colon cancer. A cousin in remission from Breast Cancer. My sister-in-law and brother in law in New Mexico raising my year and a half old niece that relys on a feeding tube to survive - she is a miracle just to be alive. A bride-to-be/client that just lost everything weeks before her wedding in a fire. Those in my circle of family and friends going through a death of someone close to them, a divorce, financial hardship, or just the ups and downs of the challenges of everyday life.
Sometimes reaching out is not very easy, and there are risks involved - but those moments usually yield the greatest feelings. There was a time a few years ago that I discovered friends of ours told their kids that "Christmas was going to be skipped this year" because of their financial situation. I could not bear to hear that... within days we arranged with the help of others for a complete Christmas dinner, hundreds of dollars in gift cards and toys to be gathered. I met the dad in the parking lot of a grocery store days before Christmas and told him he better get a move on shopping and wrapping. The look on his face is etched in my memory forever. It just took a little of my time.
You never know how far a simple gesture may go. A phone call, an email, a letter, a blog response, a text message, a note in the lunch box or on the mirror... whatever it may be. It's so simple and yields such wonderful results and feelings. So, instead of watching the numbers on the scale, I try to focus on the size of my heart. It won't always be perfect, but that is okay.
"None of us is promised tomorrow. Today, in all it's beauty, is all we have" - from "Small Graces"
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3 comments:
You are so right. I am "trying" to be better at this. I think making someone else smile comes back to you 2 (if not more!) fold.
It is nice to know that I have such a nice friend in my corner and your heart is pure gold~and worth it's weight in gold also!!!!
nice post, Jen. :)
it sounds like you have gone through a lot and overcome a lot of things in your life - it certainly gives us deeper insight and perspective doesn't it? to help us empathize with others. i'm sorry that you sound like you have so much on your mind - know that everything happens for a reason and God does everything purposefully. knowing this has certainly helped me in my life.
Change starts with little things. :)
This is truly an inspiring read. :)
Bloghopping. :)
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